just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
What a dumb baby whore.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
