your parents love me but you hate me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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