Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
