He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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