We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just want nice things and good sex
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
