my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
