just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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