Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sext me about skeletons
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
