absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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