The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
