xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
