so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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