what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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