Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
