Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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