Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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