i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
