I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
