that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
