Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
