I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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