i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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