Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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