omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Still dying that you shit outside
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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