Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
