i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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