Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just had sex on a roof
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
