Soap is not a condiment
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
