After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
