you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
