His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
