YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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