Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
