i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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