Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
