If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
