YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
