I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My life is pants optional.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
