so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
