S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
