I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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