there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
