This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
