She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
