In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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