found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
