ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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