why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish i was in the wii world.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
