Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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