All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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